The Power of Together

This blog, which is a journey to my ironman is not meant for me to merely tell you about my (boring? not-so-boring?) daily habits, rhythms, training, racing, thoughts, hopes and dreams.....it's really about me trying to bring my friends, family and strangers together to help support a cause that is very dear to me. MentorCONNECT

Until recently, as in the last few years, I did not share the intimate stories of my eating disorder past with anyone. It wasn't until I finally acknowledged the power of sharing my story; of asking for help; of offering my help; of being ok with having the support of a community of people who have experienced similar struggles, that I realized how empowering it was not to be alone in my struggle. I had to finally be willing to give up trying to recover and to "figure it out" by myself.... because the truth is, it wasn't working.

If you've read my previous posts, you might have come across the one on Joseph Campbell's "The Hero's Journey".  (If you haven't read this post, please do so now. Here's the link The Hero's Journey) I like to think of my past struggle with bulimia as one of my most important heroic journeys of self-discovery.  Even though it pains me to think of this past, I know it was important for me to become the woman I am today.

In The Hero's Journey, the last phase of the journey is a "Return" phase. To return is to share your story with others. This blog is a manifestation of my "Return" from my dark journey through a past in which bulimia haunted my daily rhythms'.  For you to understand my journey doesn't mean you too  had to battle with an eating disorder. But rather, that you, like us all, have struggled, in any capacity.

Struggle, after all, is part of the human experience. But what we do with the struggle we face is more indicative of the strength of our character than anything else. What I learned from my journey, and what I continually learn day in and day out, is that reaching out to others helps us overcome our own struggles with more ease.

So, in the writings of this blog, I want share my ironman story, but, more importantly, I want to share my story of recovery and hope.

FRIENDSHIPS AND RECOVERY

This has been a great week for connecting with old and new friends.

Yesterday, in a span of 12 hours, I connected with some of my all time favorite "old" friends.  I spoke to my college bestie, Aniela, received an email from one of my boarding school besties, Kate, and had dinner with one of my current Denver besties, Travis.  During my morning run around Wash Park on a most glorious morning in the mile-high city, I breathed in the fresh air and thought, "sweet air"...then I laughed because I was reminded that this very expression is one my friend Vanessa always said when we were mountain biking out east. Hope you're getting some sweet air today Vanessa!

After my run I had the pleasure of meeting up for coffee with Ellen Hart, a world class athlete (former marathoner...as in Olympic trials marathoner, current top Ironman (Kona) Age Grouper,), a graduate of Harvard University and University of Colorado School of Law, a mother, a wife and an overall woman extraordinaire. Ellen also struggled with bulimia and became an advocate for eating disorder awareness and recovery. Her story prompted the creation of made for TV motion picture called Dying to Be Perfect in 1996.

Ellen is the type of woman who walks into a room and brings with her a rush of energy, good nature and poise. Ellen and I exchanged stories about recovery, training and life. Her recovery from bulimia, like others I know including myself,  came from her willingness to open up and to share her story.    
After meeting with Ellen, I was again reminded how important relationships are in recovery and in life. The former is actually the premise by which MentorCONNECT's founder, Shannon Cutts, created MentorCONNECT: a place where "relationships replace eating disorders".  This is why being a board member and ambassador for MentorCONNECT is so invaluable to me and to the thousands of others who have joined this online community.

In others we find strength...and recovery.

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From now until March 2, 2014 MentorCONNECT has joined forces with NEDA (National Eating Disorders Awareness) on a Virtual Walk to raise money, support and awareness for eating disorders. This is "virtual" walk done through social networking and your support is always appreciated. Please click the following link to learn more and donate. Virtual Walk

SUPER BOWL INSPIRATIONS

Being in Denver during the conference playoffs and now as the Super Bowl kicks off, is quite a fun experience. The camaraderie of this amazing city is pretty special. "United in Orange" is the motto and I think I've seen more orange jerseys/shirts worn the past two weeks than I can ever remember. It reminds me in part of college athletics, especially the first year of my college volleyball season when we moved up the leaderboard ladder swiftly. The more we won, the closer we got to the conference championships. We were continually moving closer to being united as a team. The culmination of the pre-season, season and post-season efforts was invigorating and intoxicating. The same holds true for the Broncos and the Seahawks today as their seasons culminate on Super Bowl 48. The same will hold true for any athlete training for their biggest race or game of the season. For me, of course, this is Ironman Lake Placid.

I just completed my first month of base training. One more month and "phase 1" is complete. I gotta say, I have been working harder than I can remember ever working in the past, mainly on strength training. Strength sessions are occurring 3x per week and I spend 60-90 minutes during each session. And I'm pushing myself hard. Like "grunting" hard. One of my main goals is to become stronger so that I perform better. Also, adding muscle means I will be burning fuel faster and more efficiently and thus maybe becoming leaner. And, yes, I want to drop my body fat percentage down to fighting weight. Who doesn't?

Go BRONCOS! As for everyone else, keep fighting your fight and digging deep to get yourself to the kick-off of your dream game/race.

During what I imagine will be some funny commercial breaks, time-outs or the half time show during today's game, please take a moment to click on the donate link. I have a big monetary goal and I would love to feel invigorated by your contribution. United in giving.

GET ME OFF THIS HAMSTER WHEEL

Negative thoughts. 

Instinctively, we try to push them away, ignore them or replace them with what we think are more "peaceful", "happy" and "kind" thoughts.

MY negative thoughts have a tendency to hang around in my brain- the frontal lobe to be exact. I obsess with these thoughts (think hamster wheel) and it has proven to be exceptionally detrimental at times. Some, maybe 25%, of my mindful obsessive thoughts have become fuel for my academic, musical and athletic career (good things).... but most of these thoughts create(d) a chaotic and unpleasant environment in my mind.  In school, I was never satisfied with an A-. 25% isn't even a D, its a clear F. And, as its turns out, me, nor anyone else, should be OK with that grade.

Wednesday night I was able to listen to a Teleconference offered by MentorCONNECT featuring a wonderful member of our MentorCONNECT community, Shannon Doyle. In this hour long teleconference Shannon said a number of poignant things but one thing really stuck. She made a clear differentiation between negative thoughts vs. negative actions. She said that negative thoughts do not have to create negative actions.  This concept probably seems pretty obvious to you but, for me, in that one instance, it seemed profound- it gave me clarity, pause and might have helped me to "re-set" a little.  Teleconference Link

So this is what I think. Maybe we should stop focusing on or, in my case, obsessing over, the negative thoughts. Maybe we should simply acknowledge them, accept them on some level and then let them go. Our mindful energy should instead be spent on not allowing (refusing!) negative thoughts to manifest into negative actions. The truth, the very important and hopeful truth is that one does NOT have to precede the other.

Remember, thoughts are just words in our head. They are not law. They do not control us. Negative thoughts will come and go but they certainly do not implicate negative actions...that is....as long as we don't let them.